The Grounded Self

The Self Concept

  1. What is the Self / Self Concept?
    • Why is this question relevant?
  2. What are the components of the self Concept?
  3. How are these components related?
  4. How can we model the Self Concept?
  5. What is Self Awareness?
  6. Can you know yourself completely?
    • How can you use the answer to this question in your dating life?
  7. What are the key applications of Self Awareness?
  8. How can you use self awareness specifically in your life?

The Grounded Self

  1. How do you visualize the Self as a tree?
  2. What is the grounded Self?
    • Why are we not grounded?
  3. Draw a model depicting the Primal Self, Human Self & Social Self.
  4. What are primal constructs, human constructs & social constructs?
    • Is Language a primal, human or social construct?
    • Is Money a primal, human or social construct?
    • Is Love a primal, human or social construct?
    • Are relationships primal, human or social constructs?
  5. What are our Primal Needs vs our Human Needs?
    • Are any of your primal needs in conflict with your human needs?
    • Are you fulfilling all of your primal needs?
  6. What are the key drivers of the Primal Self vs the Human Self?
  7. What are the key energy systems of the primal self?
    • How does your life force flow within your primal self?


Parenting, Culture & Education

  1. How do the factors of Parenting, Culture & Education affect the different components of the Self?
  2. How many siblings do you have?
    • Are you the oldest, middle or youngest amongst your siblings? 
    • How does that affect your character / social self? 
    • Describe your relationship with your siblings. 
  3. What is your strongest temptation – some pleasure that you are weak against?
    • Do you think it would be better if you could resist this temptation?
    • How can you make delaying gratification easier for yourself in this regard?
  4. What are the three primal emotions?
  5. What was the primary method of discipline used by your parents? How has that affected you in adult life?
  6. Is family more important than work? How does this affect you work life? Your dating life?
  7. Would you move away from family for an economic opportunity, or work that offers greater fulfilment?
  8. What are your principal values?
  9. Draw a map of your value system based on your behaviour in day-to-day life.
  10. Would you choose to be compassionate & lie if the truth i.e. your honesty hurts your loved one?


  1. What are the key developments / changes in the self Concept during Adolescence?
  2. How would you generally describe the adolescence years of your life? What were your main interests during your teens?
  3. What was your method of rebellion during adolescence? What were some of the things you did, that your parents did not approve of?
  4. How can you develop alignment within the Self?
    • What are they key factors that drive alignment in the Self?
  5. How can you best define your Ambition? What are the essential components that comprise ambition?
    • What does your ambition tell you about yourself?
  6. What are core self evaluations?
    • How do core self evaluations help you in life?


  1. Outline three of your peak experiences
  2. What actions get you into a state of flow?
    • Which of these have you decided to pursue excellence in without regard for monetary benefit?
    • Why is this important for self awareness?
    • What does the nature of this pursuit tell you about yourself?
  3. When making decision, do you evaluate options based on objective truths, or based on how you feel about the options?
  4. Do you believe in intuition?
    • Do you often act on your intuition?
    • When was the last time you made a decision based on intuition? How did it pan out?
  5. What is the difference between your Values, Personality & Character?
    • How are these entities inter-related?
  6. What are the key sources of our values?
  7. What are personality types? Why are personality types useless for self awareness?
  8. What is character orientation?
    • Which character orientation do you fall under?
    • How can you use this paradigm?

Leaves, Thorns, Flowers & Fruits

  1. What are the fundamental characteristics of the human mind?
    • Which of these characteristics will help you improve self-awareness? 
    • Which of these characteristics is dangerous for the self? 
    • Which of these characteristics is mostly used by society to disconnect you from the self?
  2. What are the key types of cognitive dependencies?
    • What is/are your obsessive thought(s)? Have you ever had any obsessive thoughts in the past – even if for a few days?
      • Is the situation mild or extreme?
      • If extreme, what can you do to moderate it?
    • If in the past, how did you moderate it or eliminate it.
  3. What is/are your compulsive behaviour(s)? Have you ever had any compulsive behaviours in the past – even if for a few weeks?
    • Is the situation mild or extreme?
    • If extreme, what can you do to moderate it?
    • If in the past, how did you moderate it or eliminate it.
  4. What is your addiction (even if mild)? What are some pleasures that you feel guilty about? Have you ever had any addiction(s) in the past – even if for a few weeks?
    • Is the current situation mild or extreme?
    • If extreme, what can you do to moderate it?
    • If in the past, how did you moderate it or eliminate it.
  5. Is Love a cognitive dependency?
  6. What aspect of your life is most damaged by cognitive dependencies?

Thought Processes

  1. What are the following thought processes & how can these be developed in yourself?
    • Convergent vs Divergent thinking
    • Fluid vs Crystallized intelligence
    • Inductive vs Deductive Reasoning
  2. How can you use these thought processes to enrich your personal life, your relationships? Are you limiting yourself by omitting options?
  3. How are you using the different thought processes / thinking patterns in your current work?

Critical Thinking

  1. What is your area of expertise – a subject matter in which you may be considered more knowledgeable than the average joe.
  2. What are your shortcomings in this knowledge area?
  3. List at least two viewpoints in this subject matter, where you differ from popular public opinion, or which may not be popular if broadcast. Why?
  4. Have you ever lost your temper or admonished someone for expressing incorrect views on this subject matter, without getting paid for it?

Journaling & Self Awareness

  1. Why most people do not journal?
  2. Do you maintain a journal? If yes why? If not why not?
  3. Why is journaling crucial for Self Awareness?
  4. How people typically journal?
  5. What are the three dimensions of journaling?
  6. How can you journal effectively for improving Self Awareness?
  7. How can you journal for evaluating your social interactions?
    • How can you judge yourself?
    • How can you judge others?
  8. Why you must share your journal?
    • What are the potential risks of sharing your journal?
    • How to share your journal productively?

Developing a Personal Life Philosophy

Philosophy vs Psychology

  1. Why do you need a personal life philosophy?
  2. Is the study of the Self a part of Philosophy or Psychology?
  3. Why is a dichotomy vs a trichotomy?
    • Why are trichotomies important to learn?
  4. What are some of the most important trichotomies & their applications?

Social Systems

  1. Who runs the World?
    • Does Money actually run the World?
    • Is there free will?
    • How do we actually make choices?
  2. How many fundamental types of reciprocity is possible in an isolated social interaction between two individuals?
    • How can you use this information?
  3. What are the three dimensions of any society?
  4. What is the relationship between culture, commerce & politics?
  5. How does the world actually function?

Game Theory & Life

  1. What are the key entities in any game?
  2. What are the different types of games?
  3. Identify a social situation with your friends you are interested in and model it as a game. It can be a personal, national or international situation.
    • Who are the players?
    • Who is winning?
    • Who is the referee? Who is passing the judgements?
    • Who is profiting? Who is making money irrespective of the outcome?
  4. Identify one situation in life which is a positive sum game.
  5. Identify a real life example of a lottery game, preferably in some situation in your life.
    • Is this a Zero sum, negative sum or positive sum game?
  6. Based on the game categorizations known to you, what kind of game are you playing in the following situations in your life:
    • In your dating life?
    • In your work/professional life?
    • In your married life, or situations with family?
    • How does this knowledge change your behaviour / attitude towards these situations?
  7. What kind of game would you prefer for 
    • your work life?
    • your personal relationships?
    • your dating life?
  8. What is your most practiced hobby? Do you practice it as an acceptance based, competence based or elimination game?
    • What insight does this provide for your professional self?
  9. Do you play any sport at a competitive level? Do you practice any art that generates any income? What kind of games are these?
  10. What situations in your life can be modelled as a best effort game, or a threshold-based game, or a competitive game?
    • Which of these types of game is the easiest?
    • Which has the highest reward?
  11. Identify an example of a loss-loss game?
    • Do you currently engage in any loss-loss games?